Let's not beat around the bush, kids. On your knees, kiss my feet and adorn me with roses so I know how much you have missed me.

In the two months I've been absent I have:

- become 25 years of age

- spent time in a cell for excessive drinking; been cut off from the alcohol (only because bottle had become empty

- celebrated an American Thanksgiving surronded by folk from the Southern States

- recieved an invite from a regular customer at the porn shop I work at to join him and his wife for some "adult fun"

- turned down an invite from a regular customr at the porn shop I work at to join him and his wife for some "adult fun"

- recieved an invite to tie up a regular customer

- reluctantly turned down an invite to tie up a customer

- quit my cashier Food Basics job

- broke my favourite vibrator

- bought a new favourite vibrator

- dye my hair a brilliant colour (in choice, not shade), leaving myself a wearer of Noir Fatales, shade rouge

- giggled myself to orgasm

.... and that's about it.

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