Like many things as of late... I've been neglecting... or avoiding... updating this here journal. Sometimes life gets a lil' hectic and I'm not able to sit with a clear mind... and write as the thoughts flit around in my mind.

And other times.... there are just too many thoughts... all fighting to get out at the same time... thats sort of where I'm at right now... I think one thing - all proud that I've managed to keep a straight line of thought - then WHAMMO!.... enter more thoughts.

Argh.

A lot of people who lead a D/s life (myself included) believe the collar to be a physical symbol of the bond that ties two people together... it is not needed to remind a girl she is owned, loved and adored... her Dominant does not need to see it around her pretty lil' neck in order to remember He owns a precious piece of flesh....

... so now that Ro and I are in a limbo... the fact that I don't wear my collar...... does not mean that I don't think of myself as unowned... as unloved.... the tightness is still there around my neck.... as the tan line would be on a married person's finger...

I don't know.... for once, Ro hasn't got all the answers... and He's happy with that.... me... I've got no answers ... to my own or to His questions.... and I'm utterly miserable.

I want my Daddy back.

On a good note - droppin' a few pounds... gotta get all cute for summer n' such... I guess this loss of appetite due to stress & anxiety ain't so bad afterall. Oh except the feeling of wanting to vomit every hour or so.

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