Love. Hate. Pain. Calm. Anger.

Those are all the emotions I've been experiencing in the past forty-eight hours.

The way I figure it.. if you do not care for someone so deeply - there is absolutely NO WAY that they will be capable of stirring up such things within you.

We have agreed to seperate.

90 Days.

88 days left.

I cried. And argued.

Two days down, eighty-eight to go.. and the tears continue to flow from the deepest, darkest rivers. It is certainly a roller-coaster of emotions.

I've got a plan though. I'm going to stick to it.

It isn't about bettering myself for Him.

It's about bettering myself for ME - which in turn, will create (hopefully) a healthier relationship with Him.

I miss Him madly, but I'm not going to do this just by sittin' around counting down the days... nothing will ever come of it.

Even if at the end He decides not to come back.. I can walk away knowing.. that I did my best... that I stuck to it.. that I was honest, that I loved Someone other than myself.

I have to first forgive.. and only then will I trust Him once again.

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